Growing apart from your best friend is one of the hardest parts of high school. It usually doesn’t happen because of a big fight; it happens because you both are just growing up. Maybe they joined a new team, or you started hanging out with a different crowd. Whatever the reason, feeling that “shift” can be lonely and confusing. The first thing to know is that this is a normal part of life, and it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.

Instead of overthinking every text or post, the best thing to do is talk about it. It doesn’t have to be a heavy, dramatic conversation. You can just say, “Hey, I feel like we haven’t talked in a while, and I miss you.” Sometimes your friend is feeling the exact same way but was too nervous to say it. A simple reach-out can clear up misunderstandings and help you both figure out where you stand.

While you’re figuring things out, try to focus on yourself. This is a great time to lean into your own hobbies or talk to that person in your math class you’ve always thought was cool. When you have your own things going on, you won’t feel as sad when your friend is busy. It helps you become more independent, and it takes the pressure off the friendship to be “perfect” all the time.

It’s also helpful to remember that friendships can change without ending. You might not be the “every-single-day” friends you used to be, and that’s okay. You can still be the kind of friends who text on birthdays or cheer for each other from the sidelines. Not every friend has to be your “everything” forever. Some people are meant to be in your life for a specific season, and they still matter even if the vibe is different now.

In the end, pay attention to how you feel when you’re together. If you’re the only one putting in effort, or if hanging out feels like a chore, it might be time to let things breathe. Real friendship should make you feel good, not stressed out. Be kind to yourself as you go through these changes, it’s all part of finding the people who truly fit the person you are becoming.