What is the worst thing to hear when you say that you’re feeling ugly? For many, it’s

probably the “You’re not ugly, you’re pretty” comment. While it helps for a little while, the 

phrase in of itself is performative and isn’t helpful at all long term. Everyone has heard the

phrase “You’re not ugly” at least once, even if it’s not geared towards them directly, and many

people on the receiving end of this don’t even believe it. Hopefully you may change how ugly

feels to you.

One major contribution to feeling ugly is low self-esteem. Almost no one will phrase it

that way, they’ll say, “They’re down to earth” or “They have no idea how pretty they are,” but its

for a reason. People, primarily women, have been taught to be the smaller one, stay accessible,

and ask for less because they will be considered more attractive if they do. Even if you think

you’re the most gorgeous person in the world or if you genuinely feel ugly, people are always

trying to make you feel worse. 

Even predators are more likely to harass a woman who shows low

self-esteem because having low self-esteem means that you are less likely to turn them away.

There are many forces in this world that benefit from making women feel this way, but

attempting to understand them more can make those forces a lot less powerful.

Women are the best target for this kind of esteem dropping behavior, because the world

has profited from putting women down. However, there is one natural cause that can change how

you see everything. Puberty.

No one talks about the confusion that comes from a lifetime of being called ugly, and

suddenly having a glowup. With a glowup, people find you more attractive, people start to notice

you, and it all feels so good until people start to find you clingy. With a lifetime of feeling ugly,

one might have to constantly seek out validation from loved ones because they feel like one day,

the people they love may wake up and see how “ugly” you are. This behavior causes one to be so

obsessed with little things, and gets tiring after a while until you start neglecting yourself.

Everyone chalks this kind of thinking to consumerism, but where is that pressure coming from?

People online.

Thinking that you’re ugly sucks. It really sucks. Having to live with being called ugly all

of your life sucks. But you’re not ugly. You’re just different then what people expect, and being

yourself unapologetically is something the world needs a lot more of.